WHAT ABOUT LOVE?
It’s the LOVE month
Who do you love? How do you love? Why do you love?
Once, my husband asked me, “why do you love me?”. That’s a question a lot of people ask each other during the course of their relationship. I once asked a group of ladies that I was speaking to to think about that question regarding their husband. A lot of the women responded with things like: He’s a great person, a great dad, provides for our family, handsome, loving, smart, puts my happiness first ~ you get my drift. And I responded to these ladies, “You just described my husband! Do you think you could love him? Could we maybe trade husbands since they have the same traits and be happy with our trade?”. This realization got all of us giggling.
When my husband asked me this question, I thought for just a moment and I responded in the most honest and visceral way I probably have ever answered anything, “I just do”.
What would your answer be? Is the sum of our “good” traits why someone would want to spend the rest of their life with us. Well, that must be one way to think about it, I mean, you wouldn’t want to spend the rest of your life with a bad person. There’s the scientific pheromone theory that animals, including humans, find their mate through an emission of smell that functions as a mating signal. I have written an article on this biological/psychological process and included an expanded version of this as a chapter in my book, backdropped against the 70’s song, Addicted to Love. All the chemical functions that flow through our bodies as well as our mind is represented in this song ~ it’s a chemistry lesson set to a pop tune! So there might just be something to the book I referenced about finding your mate through actual bodily (if not through DNA pairing) functions and signals. It’s for sure that anyone that has ever been “in love” has experienced the dopamine rush and the addiction of wanting to feel that feeling over and over, associated ONLY with that person.
These are all interesting questions. I just finished a book called, The One, and this book explores the scientific “reality” of there being “one” mate for you and it can be matched through your DNA. What? Is love that clinical and scientific? Do you believe that there is only ONE person out there that was meant for you and you only? How do you find that person and how do you know when you do find them?
I also read a book called, The Midnight Library, and that book explores all the different ways that your life can go IF seemingly insignificant or normal decisions that are routinely made ultimately chart the course of your life; such as everything that is affected from something as simple as buying a house in this community instead of that community, choosing one college over another, even deciding to go out with friends and what may occur like so many people who meet their mate in a day or night’s activity and spend the rest of their life together ~ I mean what are the chances of that! What if you didn’t go to that event? What if you choose a different college where you meet a different mate? How are we sure that we’ve made the right choice? It’s mind blowing if you let yourself get sucked down the rabbit hole of “what if?”
I met my husband when I was just a girl, not even a teenager yet, and we have been happily married for 47 years this August ~ we are 66 and 67 years old, so that tells you a little bit of our story. Happily married....is that a term you use to describe all the ups and downs, good times and challenging times, even bad times that make up the life of a life spent with another person? There’s no way to escape these realities, is there? As well, you, like me perhaps, cannot imagine yourself with any other mate, so there’s that as well.
I could go on about the power, the nuances, and the strength of and the helplessness of love ~ but you know....we’ve all been there even if you aren’t there at this moment.
Because as another true love song of my generation guides us....”so keep your heart open cuz love will find a way”......
Always spread the love ~ in any month and….
Always remember to insert a giggle giggle ~
Fondly ~ Kay
Insert Giggle Giggle, Laughing Your Way through Raising Kids and Running a Business, BEST BOOK FOR THE PARENT~Finalist, Zibby Owens Media
https://www.amazon.com/Insert-Giggle-Laughing-through-Business/dp/1665302933/
Podcast: Kay’s Gigglecast~Spotify
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